I’ve been MIA for a while. Missing in action in many senses of the words, actually. Some stuff has happened with people who I thought were my friends that has left me questioning who actually cares about my well-being or not. Past emotions have come back to haunt me at the most inconvenient of times and I have struggled to act carefree when all I wanted to do is hole up in my bed and cry my eyes out. It’s hard to explain, when your current relationship is going well, why the tatters of your last one still hurt so much. But I’m honest about it, and that’s all I can do to stay sane, really.
Then there’s the whole thing with losing my job, trying to find another one, going backwards and forwards to endless interviews and internships and volunteer weeks until I thought I was going to go crazy from having no job and no money and no guarantee of anything in the future. It’s hard to write anything when I’m worried about stuff like that. Instead, I spent time with my friends, boyfriend and family, and tried to make the most of the accidental two month summer holiday.
ANYWAY, it’s okay, because I’m back, and I’m doing better than I’ve been doing for a long time, because finally, FINALLY, I’ve made it.
I’m living in London.
I’m living with two awesome people in a lovely flat.
I have a full time job at a larger men’s health charity.
I’ve had a rise in pay AND in responsibility.
There’s way more room for career progression and the chance to actually study fundraising.
My commute to work is only 20 minutes long.
And my relationship is still happy, fun and beautiful.
I want to say that the past year has been good. I suppose looking at it from the outside, it really has. But life doesn’t work like that, emotions don’t work like that. Things can appear to be going really well but that doesn’t stop feeling like your an impostor.
I’m trying really hard, from now on, to feel like I’ve earned my very lucky position in life.
Oh also, I saw the Cursed Child. It was pretty cool.
This is just a little update, I will hopefully be blogging once a week, every Tuesday. Yep, I’m setting myself a new schedule.
Good luck me.